Your Body Is Not the Problem
By Sarah I. Serluco, LCSW
If you are a teen girl, you've probably looked in the mirror and immediately found something you wanted to change.
Maybe you think you are too big, too small, too tall, too short, too developed, or not developed enough. You may compare your stomach, legs, skin, hair, or chest to other people’s bodies. Even if everyone around you thinks you are confident, you might spend a lot of time wondering how you look and what other people are thinking about you.
Sometimes, your body can begin to feel like a problem you are supposed to solve. But your body is not the problem.
Growing Up with a Mirror That Never Turns Off
Being a teenager has always involved comparison and self-consciousness, but social media can make that pressure feel impossible to escape. Every time you open your phone, you see filtered faces, edited bodies, beauty trends, workout routines, and people presenting carefully chosen moments as their everyday lives.
You may know that someone posed, adjusted the lighting, used a filter, or took 50 pictures before posting one. That knowledge does not always stop you from comparing yourself to the final image.
You are not the only one who feels this way. According to the Mental Health Foundation’s research on body image in childhood, 46% of girls surveyed said their body image caused them to worry often or always, compared with 25% of boys.
The U.S. Surgeon General’s advisory on social media and youth mental health also reports that 46% of adolescents ages 13–17 said social media made them feel worse about their body image.
Those numbers matter because they show that body-image struggles are not simply you being “too sensitive.” You are growing up surrounded by messages telling you to evaluate, improve, and display your appearance for other people’s approval.
Body Pressure Does Not Only Come from Social Media
Pressure may also come from friends, family members, sports, dating, clothing sizes, or comments that you may not realize are hurtful. Someone joking about your weight, praising you for losing a few pounds, comparing your body to someone else’s, or constantly talking about diets can suggest that your appearance determines your value.
Body-image struggles can affect much more than how you feel in front of a mirror. You may avoid photographs, swimming, parties, school events, or certain clothes. You might become anxious around food or exercise because you feel you need to, or spend so much time criticizing your appearance that you have little energy left for school, friendships, creativity, sports, or fun.
This is one reason therapy for girls can be so valuable. Therapy gives you a private place to say what you are really thinking—even the things you feel embarrassed, ashamed, or afraid to tell other people.
When Your Changing Body Does Not Match Who You Are
If you are transgender, puberty and body-image concerns may feel especially painful. Your body may begin changing in ways that do not reflect who you know yourself to be.
If you are a trans boy, developing breasts or beginning your period may create intense anxiety, sadness, anger, shame, or gender dysphoria. You may feel as though your body is announcing something about you that is not true.
You might wear oversized clothing, avoid mirrors, stop participating in activities, or worry that other people are staring at the parts of your body that distress you. Changing for gym, swimming, shopping for clothes, or being called by the wrong name or pronouns can turn everyday situations into painful experiences.
There is no single “right” way to feel about your body or your gender. You deserve to be heard, respected, and supported. Teen counseling can provide a place to talk about these experiences without having your feelings minimized or dismissed.
You Do Not Have to Love Your Body Every Day
You have probably heard people say that you should love your body. That message can be helpful, but it can also feel like one more expectation you are failing to meet.
You do not have to love every part of your body every day. A more realistic starting point may be learning to treat your body with less criticism and more respect.
Notice which accounts, conversations, or situations leave you feeling worse about yourself. Give yourself permission to unfollow people, mute certain content, step away from appearance-focused conversations, and wear clothes that help you feel comfortable and safe. Try moving your body because it helps you release stress, have fun, or find other ways to feel strong.
Your body carries you through school, friendships, sports, laughter, sadness, change, and growth. It deserves care, even on the days when loving it feels difficult.
You Do Not Have to Handle This Alone
If thoughts about your body are affecting your eating, mood, relationships, schoolwork, or daily life, please tell a trusted adult. You don't have to wait until things become unbearable to ask for help.
At SIS Counseling in Atlanta, our therapy for girls and teen counseling services help teens manage anxiety, challenge harmful messages, build confidence, and develop a healthier relationship with themselves. We also provide an affirming space for transgender teens to talk honestly about body image, identity, and the challenges they may be experiencing.
Your appearance does not determine whether you are lovable, worthy, or enough. You are already more than any photograph, clothing size, reflection, comment, or number could ever measure.
If you’re experiencing emotional distress, in crisis, or need immediate help, call 911 or go to the nearest emergency department. You can use these resources for free and confidential support 24/7:
Suicide and Crisis Lifeline:
Call 988
Crisis Text Line:
Text HOME to 741741
Trans Lifeline:
Call 1-877-565-8860
